Dear Jesus, sometimes I wish I knew more about your life on earth.  I wish I knew more about your struggles, your moments of deep despair and conflict. I wish the Bible had touched a little more on how you suffered, and how you overcame temptations.  You became human to show us how a human could overcome.  Where are more of your humanly struggles?

Sometimes I wonder if it would help me to see more of your personal growth as a human.  How deep did your struggles go?  Where were more moments of growth, from spiritual infancy to spiritual maturity?  I read of the outcome, but what did you go through to get there?

When I think of you as God, I get discouraged, because you had quite the advantage.. Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy.  I look to your example and all I have is the end result, not a whole lot that I can identify with.  But I love you so much.  I guess I love someone else more though, don’t I?  But their heaven is my hell and vice versa.  So its tough, really tough, and I don’t feel godly because I’m so frustrated.

But Lord, you are truly becoming my dear friend and confidante more deeply through this.  Take your rightful place in my life.  Do what you must to remain unchallenged as the true and strongest desire of my heart, mind and soul.   Strengthen my faith daily to trust in you always and completely, to never fear the unknown.  Strengthen my faith to always trust and know that you did suffer many things, and always overcame.  And although there are few examples, the common denominator in your victories was devotion to the Father’s Truth and will.

Perhaps its doesn’t matter what you suffered.  We all suffer differently.  I know you did, and you overcame the world.  And I know how now (..brown cow, haha..).  Precious Jesus, Beloved Lamb of God, I love you so very, very (infinity more very’s) much.  And boy, if I can feel your love with such intensity, even with my physical barrier of a body, imagine when they are removed!!! <3 <3

Help me also to remember to lean on you when I can’t overcome the world. You did, you will help!  Thank you…for everything!

Forever and always,  EG <3