Feb 4/06 - a ‘cellf’-ish life
Have to share a cute story! Last night, while getting you ready for your bath, I put you on the floor and turned to do something. In that second or 2, you had flipped to your tummy, arms were up, and you were trying to roll. I heard this ‘bonk bonk bonk…’, so I turned around and there you were. You had your head turned the other way and couldn’t see the tub, so you kept trying to roll, and your head kept going bonk bonk on the tub. It doesn’t sound as cute when I write it, but it sure was. I had a good chuckle. And this made me think of 2 things:
1. You’ve moved past a fear of being on your tummy. You are no longer paralyzed and freaking. You have some freedom from this fear, and have learned tools to move out of it. I apply it to my own life to remember, so that when I feel stuck in fear, there is a way out or past it. Two of my own that I’m moving past are a fear of what others think, and a fear of being unable to fix another person.
2. We come up across obstacles and walls in life. It’s a given. It’s the natural part of this existence, part of the spiritual dynamics of why we’re here perhaps. I keep running into the same walls and get stopped at the same point if I am unable to see the cause. Sometimes I move in another direction, but I ultimately end up at this same wall through another circumstance. I am learning to understand how I keep returning to a certain place, examine the pattern and eventually move past the barrier.
I love watching you and seeing metaphors come to life. I just bought the movie “What the bleep do we know”. It’s about quantum physics and how our thoughts and feelings affect our external world. I’m starting you watching it too. I hope to add some of the physicists books to my library at some point. Physics in general has been of interest to me lately, specifically the quantum aspect. I like to call it the science of the Lord. I feel it attempts to enter the base level of creation (as we can currently perceive), where all is the same and united, and explain the mechanics of it all. Sometimes I have thought of the Lord beyond the external embodiment of Jesus, and expanded that into the fabric of existence, and to see That which embodied Jesus as That which is embodied within creation. Quantum physics (QP) seems to compliment that idea for me. As I learn more, I feel like I understand a teeny bit more about who or what I as an individual am, and what I am not. If QP is true, then it would appear we are all the Lord at the base level of creation, in varying states of awareness. I look at the world, caught up with me, me, me (myself included!). Is it a necessary stage for humanity, like a collective child that is going through a rebellious phase in its life, exhausting its resources like the prodigal son, only to return to its heritage once more down the road? I don’t know really. I wonder how life might be different if all of us lived our lives less selfishly, and more ‘cellf-ishly’. I like that way of spelling it. Reminds me that I am not an island unto myself, but that I am part of something far larger….
Next: Fear Fishing