Dear Father,

Trying to suppress the grief of the past few months has been like trying to put a cap on an active volcano. Sometimes it makes the pressure stronger. But it’s October now, and for the first time, I can finally begin to remember him and laugh. I still want to cry, but I can also laugh when I think of him. I was looking at various pictures at different moments of cuteness, and I remembered how he used to put his chin down on the edge of the bed, looking up at you as if to say “aren’t I just the cutest?” He certainly knew what to do to get mass quantities of loving affection. I laughed, wondering if he ever did that to anyone in heaven. And then I got thinking about the afterlife of animals. As I enjoyed the moment of full confidence that Luthor was alive and well somewhere, drooling and being very cute, doubt began to slowly and quietly creep in and try to snatch my happiness away. And then I thought, so what! Nothing in the Bible says animals don’t live on after death. They are even accountable for the lifeblood of man. It doesn’t negate my salvation to believe that. They were important and worthy enough to be considered an appropriate offering for our mistakes, and they sure know how to love. They have the breath of life. What life breath is not of You? And what kind of pure love is not of You? And if I find out at my death that I’m completely wrong about this, considering the near death experiences of others, I won’t really care at that point. I believe I will see Luthor again.

Oct 1997