Today I am dancing with Guilt, Grief and Sorrow in an intimate wallowing embrace. They are cradling my emotions, supporting them in this direction, helping them, strengthening them, wooing me to be their lovers. They wear masks of desire and beauty but beneath the façade are Ugliness, Darkness and Destitution.

Elsewhere, standing quietly in the corner, are Peace and Joy, offering their gift in this circumstance. Initially their appearance is frightening, as they are dark and unknown, invisible to my sight, yet a presence sensed with my heart.

As I reach into my heart and focus on their presence, I begin to witness tiny embers of Light. The more my gaze rests upon them, the stronger they glow. And today, they are dim lights, glowing bigger than before, but very dim still, a greenish glow. Their lights overlap with each other the bigger they get. I wonder, will they fully merge?

The more I ponder them, the less I am interested in the others. Peace and Joy woo me also, but it is different than Guilt, grief and sorrow. Each step toward Peace and Joy is a lighter step, a step closer to the light of truth. Each step toward the others is heavier and darker. The lighter way seems harder for some reason. What force holds me back? Why do I not run and jump into the arms of Peace? I know I can, yet I hesitate. It will require my attention for longer than I like to offer it. It will require focus. It will require my effort. It demands my heart and soul, in addition to my mind.

And this is where you are a gift, John. You alone can draw me out of my spiritually autistic place of fear, and give me incentive to truly do for another in a way that is rarely convenient, because of Love. Your presence in my life offers me the Highest Gift of All. This experience offers me an opportunity to see life completely differently, through a new set of eyes.

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