Oh Johnnie Johnnie Johnjohn. All this searching….all this…stuff….I’m really confused and scared… All this searching for the cause of your slow pace, all the therapies, its beginning to overwhelm me. It’s been soooo busy, and I haven’t been able to spend the time with you that I want. Today your cousins will be over, and I get sidetracked from you, however, they seem to love playing with you. They seem to really love you, so this is a good thing then. You need this interaction.

My dear son, I just want to let you be, be what and who you are. Precious little bo-bear, you are sleeping in your play pen beside me. I love to watch you sleep. You look so peaceful, so serene. You are so beautiful. When you sleep, I long to hold you, even though you are so tiring. I find myself waiting impatiently for you to wake up and smile at me, and I can pick you up and cuddle again, and have you look into my eyes the way you do. Guess I’ll be a smother mother.

You seem to be putting more and more things into your mouth. You seem to prefer fabric, like your wash cloth while in your high chair, and your blanket while in bed. Tonight, when I carried you upstairs, you were gently bonking your hands on my shoulders at opposite times. You seemed to have more energy tonight, and I loved to see it. You are such a happy boy. Your whole body smiles, and it is sooo precious.

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