(Men or the squeamish may want to skip this part…)

You made it! You’re here! Boy, what a time that was, holy smokes!!! Let me fill you in. But first, welcome to this world, John!

On Wednesday, the 8th, we went to the hospital for the induction, and the process began. They put me on the monitor, and you were very quiet, as you usually are at that point. The nurse prepared the application of the hormone prostaglandin. She had to move the jelly to the tip of the applicator, and because it’s kept cold, it doesn’t always move easily. And so as a result, she accidently squirted it out onto my chest. I thought that was the funniest thing ever, and laughed sooo hard. We were all laughing our guts out, except for the nurse. She seemed either really embarrassed or unimpressed, or something. She did not think this was funny. I was glad it happened though, as it was a major stress release!! And so a second application was prepared, and the process was started. I was still zipped up tight, even after the doc’s prodding the day earlier. They left me hooked to the monitor for another hour.

During the last 15 minutes, Daddy and Unky Meeq were making me laugh so hard. You should’ve seen the readout of the uterine monitor, which of course made me laugh harder, which made me remember you bouncing around, which made me laugh harder…. The nurses could hear us all the way down at the nurses station.

Not much was happening labour wise, so they sent me home and told me to come back in a while. Contractions seemed to be coming every 3 minutes, but they were enjoyably mild (sounds like a cigarette commercial, haha).

A couple of hours later we were back at the hospital and I was hooked back up to the monitor. Doc showed up to break my water. YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was really uncomfortable, holy crap! Daddy was watching my reaction, and I could tell by his face that he was freaking out, to the point of stopping what was happening in whatever way possible. In my extreme discomfort, I had to assure him it was all right!!! I was fine. It was yucky, but I was fine, and he didn’t need to punch the doctor to stop what she was doing. And then he settled back into his chair. And then it was done. We were committed. You were officially on the way.

I could not believe how much water there was. It just flowed and flowed and flowed and flowed, and soaked everything. There was soooo much!! The doc and nurse were scrambling for all things absorbent! It was all over their shoes, all over the floor. We wowed them Johnny! We wowed everyone! And I have to say, the fluid was so nice and warm on my cramping back. I never thought I’d see a day where I was happy to lay in my own wet, hahaha.  No wonder you were content to stay put! How cozy and warm it must have been! And then all that lalala came to a screeching and sudden halt. The contractions immediately came, a minute apart, sometimes 30 seconds, but mostly a minute, and lasted 30-40 seconds. The violence and force and suddenness really blew Daddy and Unky Meeq away. It was something, kiddo. Holy cow! Talk about someone taking a sledgehammer to your back. That was what it was like, repeated blows over and over to my lower back, like being whipped with a sledgehammer, violently. Fortunately the peaks were only a few seconds out of the entire contraction, maybe 10-15. I quickly learned to enjoy the less severe blows on the way up and take advantage of the relief on the way down. Instead of 1 minute between contractions, I thought of it as 1-2 minutes between peaks.

I managed to last about 4 hours like that, because I figured, with that kind of force, you must be on your way, and it would be over soon, and I could make it. I’m reliving the emotion of finding out that I was not even a third of the way there (only 3 cms dilated, 7 to go..). I broke down and cried. It meant that I still had at least another 8-10 hours of sledgehammer ass whooping to go, if this pace kept up. So after they stretched me to 4 cms, I started with the gas. I remember at one point saying to my sister in law, while laying there with my legs in the air and spread, “Nicki, meet my vagina! Vagina, Nicki!” What else do you say to someone in that situation who clearly has never met that part of you before?

Anyway, back to the gas. It took a few contractions for me to feel the effects, but there were some. I was asked if I wanted an epidural. YES!!!!! But the anesthetist was busy. He had a c-section to complete, and there was another woman in line before me for an epidural. So, on to Demerol. Oh, was I ever stoned, kid!! I was really goofy. You’re Unky Meeq took pictures. I can’t wait to see them! I wouldn’t give up my gas mask at all. It slowly became glued to my face, and Daddy had to keep reminding me to stop using it when I wasn’t contracting. I figured I was always in some point of contraction, and so it stayed. It was mother’s milk. My vision followed that gas mask like a hungry dog follows food. I wasn’t giving it up to anyone!

Finally the anesthetist arrived. He got me set up and all needles in place, and anesthetic began to flow…..Mmmmm…..sweet epidural…..blessed relief settled in. I laid in bed while the contractions continued, completely painless. I didn’t make it through this process with the guts I thought I’d have. Sorry John…

A while later, I found out that my cervix never dilated any further. I was still at 4 cm. A decision had to be made. Apply more hormone to stimulate dilation, or c-section? On a side note, the attending nurse that sat with me ended up being someone your daddy had gone to high school with in Toronto. Crazy eh? She, Unky Meeq and I had a lot of fun waiting for things to happen. We laughed a lot. The nurse wondered if I was always that funny or if it were the drugs. We assured her that it was me, and not the drugs. Anyway, they began to get concerned about your heart rate always up so high. I was also developing a fever. This meant infection, and that meant c-section, which truthfully, I was very grateful for. I’ve always been afraid of pushing your head out my crotch. I really wanted a c-section, but was prepared to give it a go naturally first. Doc arrived to confirm it, and preps were made. All specialists were currently available and standing by. Everything was in place and off we went.

They transferred me to the surgical table, put up a drape so daddy and I couldn’t see what was going on, although I really wanted to, and they gave me a stronger anesthetic. They did their thing, and out you came. “A beautiful baby boy”, they said. I cried, and daddy burst into sobs, laying his head on me, crying and crying. It was the most beautiful moment of my life. They held you up over the drape for us to see you, and then cleaned you and me up, while daddy and I cried some more. They weighed you, (9 pounds, 14 ounces – and a large head, glad it was a c-section!) and then daddy took you to the nursery, while I lay in the recovery room until I was able to go back to my room.

Next: Hmmm…