Foreward
Once upon a time, a girl longed for a child. Not just any child though. She wanted one that wouldn’t be typical, one not distracted by the illusions this world offered, one that would teach her, and one she could help remember its true nature. She really didn’t know what she was asking.
Her wish was granted.
As she bustled about in her typical world, it became apparent that her child was not typical. Surprisingly, this angered her. He dealt with all dilemmas by flinging backwards, looking like a fish out of water, and it was his joy to explore the many textures of his mouth, especially that little dangly thing at the back, which coughed up even more surprises. And while his body grew long and strong, he remained infant and child-like in his perception of the world around him, unable to be mired by what this world offered. In the world, but not of it. This was not the “non-typical” she’d had in mind.
She desperately tried to make him part of the world she understood, but he didn’t seem to be interested, always staring off at the light of day. After a couple of years, and A LOT of frustration on both their parts, she began the process of accepting that life with this child would not look like she’d hoped, and allowed the grieving for the loss of what ended up only really being an idea, to begin. And silently she asked him to help her understand reality as her perceptions no longer fit.
He took her to an infinite ocean in which to swim and happily swam circles around her, totally at home in this world. As the vortex he created from his play continued to wreak havoc with her ideas in life, she began to feel like she was sinking. She tried to hold on to different life preservers of thought, but they too fell victim to the current he created, threatening to pull her down further. She fought and struggled, seeking to overcome, to summon the strength, to will the power to remain afloat, frantically searching for yet stronger and rosier ideas to grasp. There were none. And she was too far from the shores of familiarity to swim back. With her back up against a wall so to speak, there was no option but to surrender the struggle and accept the unknown (that she thought was about to consume her) as a friend instead of an enemy. . . and let go ….. let it all go…. And all the while, her little boy played on.
“Hmm, …still here….”, she thought, “not falling to the murky depths”. She found herself in a calm space of this ocean, while the currents of life continued to rage around her. It was like she was in the eye of the hurricane that was her life. And there was something else there. It had always been there. It was a silence and lightness of being that was now unfettered by the mental baggage she had thought was keeping her afloat. This vibrant silent presence emanating through and around her had always kept her afloat, but distracted by her struggle, she didn’t know. Living life with her son in full acceptance as he was, with no paradigms or filters, allowed a deep unfettered love to expand her heart, healing a disability within it she didn’t even know she had. It enabled her to navigate these waters with more ease. She got excited and tried to help by adding new ideas, but they only deflated the momentum of this deeper love and flow of peace.
Resistances continued to arise throughout her life, as is the nature of things on this earth, and she relinquished them too. Sometimes easily, sometimes not so easily, causing her to sink for brief periods. Each continued release allowed an even further expansion of this loving force now animating her body. Life had not changed, but her perception of it had.
As she was lifted above the surface, things in life didn’t look the same anymore. This new vantage point brought with it a completely different perception than when she was living life struggling to always stay afloat mentally and emotionally. This body was lighter than air and could float on the water that previously threatened to drown her. These feet could walk on the water, and dance in the currents her son continued to create. All heaviness was suspended and she felt as light as air!
As she walked through this ocean, she noticed that not everyone could walk on water, nor did they even want to, still being very attached to their own ideas of life, even if it caused them great pain and weight. She tried to help but they were not ready to let go the struggle. In time she accepted this too.
This was a new world, this being unafraid of the unknown. It was full of unspeakable sights and experiences, some pleasant, some not so. While it was extraordinary, it was at the same time extra ordinary. And none of it was her doing, but only her being.
So, …be careful what you ask for. You might get it.